so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
