I want to have your abortion
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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