you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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