some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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