Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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