In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize