HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I had to cum in my sink.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize