If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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