Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
