Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
