your parents love me but you hate me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
