Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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