Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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