singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize