Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
