I accidentally burped into my bong.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize