but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
