Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
