i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
FUCK WHALES
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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