I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
