Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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