got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
