Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
two words...techno handjob
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
