i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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