Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
