You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
