were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
