I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Me. At least after what I've been through.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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