And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The struggles of a small town man whore
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
