...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I could fuck to npr.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
