No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
