Dual....:-)
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize