I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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