I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
