I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
