dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize