I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So many bounce houses so little time
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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