All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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