There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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