I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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