One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
