And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So squirting runs in the family.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
