i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
