Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
