i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You can't motorboat a personality
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
