After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
