i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
