My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
