I smell stomach acid.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
