Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
