sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
