I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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