I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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