I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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