So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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