ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I understand Curling. That high.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
