How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
